Five Reasons Parenting Doesn't Suck

I just read this post on thenodramamomma.org (never read it, but this was a great post!) and it really brought to my attention how acceptable it has become to complain about our children. I've often thought about how much I complain about Madie, but I've (of late) worried that maybe people take me a little serious. I complain about her mostly as a joke. The things she does is so over-the-top dramatic that it's funny! And if I exaggerate just a liiiiiiittle bit about my reactions it's even funnier. I like laughing. I like making people laugh. Madie gives me lots of fodder. The Meanest Mom knows how I feel (even if there are lots of people who don't really get how she feels).

But I've tried reigning it in a little bit. Madie really is a great kid, and we REALLY lucked out having such an easy one for our first. She's strong-headed and throws Olympic tantrums, but she's always slept well, she's usually cheerful, she isn't a picky eater, and lately she's been giving me a whole array of good-morning kisses--and I have the bruised cheeks to prove it! A little comic venting sometimes is one thing, but since when did it become not only shamefacedly funny, but expected and acceptable to talk about our kids this way?

I love No Drama Momma's list, especially number one, and in that spirit I want to add five more things to her list of why being a parent doesn't suck.

1. The unconditional love. It's a two-way street. I would do anything for Madie no matter what she did to me, and she loves me no matter what I do to her. I remember as a ten-year old, I used to love frightening my baby sister so I could watch her big lip curl under and her eyes grow huge--the effect was so cute! And the best part was I would hold out my arms and she would come to me--her tormentor--for comfort. She would immediately forgive me and not for one moment did she stop loving me. That's how children are. It's beautiful.

2. Parental inspiration. That's all I can think of to call it. Since having a baby, I have had lightening strike after lightening strike go through my brain telling me how to handle a situation, how to teach her something, how to entertain her. In fact, just a couple weeks ago I had an "AHA!" moment as to how to potty train her. It's incredible! If you're open to the guidance of God, you will definitely receive it!

3. The Stories. Good, bad, cute, messy. They're all funny. Seriously. It's hard not to break into laughter with a two-year old standing on your husband's belly, holding her finger to her lips and saying, "Shhhhhh, shhhhhh" as though she's trying to soothe him, and then leaping into the air and body-slamming him with her diapered bum. Oh my gosh. I laugh every time!

4. You learn to relish the peace and quiet. I've always been able to relish the peace and quiet--that's what you get from living with 9 other people most of your life. But as an adult, living in an apartment where most of my roommates were either studying or gone half the day, sometimes I'd just sit there bored out of my mind. It wasn't usually too bad, but it did get to me once in a while. Well, not anymore, my friends! Not anymore! As much as I love spending time with Madie, I can't tell you how much I can appreciate the quiet moments of the day, whether she's contentedly playing ALONE in her room, or napping, those are precious, precious minutes.

5. The names. I love names. Maybe I'm the only one, but I get the feeling that I'm not. I know there are closet name fanatics out there. People who spend hours on end looking through lists and lists of names on all sorts of websites, finding their meanings on other websites, and then creating their own lists of names on still more websites. No? Just me? Alright. Really though, I love the sound of my daughter's name, Madeleine. I love the way it looks when it's spelled out. I love her middle name, Fiona. I love their denotations, I love their connotations, I love her initials. and I can't wait to look around for another one whenever the time comes!

So, what do you love about parenting? Please share, no matter the age of you offspring!

Things I've Learned

Some of you may know Mike and I have been watching the three children of some friends of ours while they're in England for the week. We're almost done--they get back on Saturday morning--but it's been an interesting experience. Let's just say we are glad twins--and triplets--don't run in either of our families! I thought I'd share a few highlights.

Deep thought:
~If Wish Bear can grant pretty much any wish, why are there any other Care Bears? And for that matter, is there really any risk in any of the episodes?

Proud moments:
~The food is a little different than what we normally have at home. I don't know that it's worse or better, it's just--mooore--what exactly? Faster? Yes, it's faster. Much faster. I was a little worried Madie might end up not feeling very well after a week (she's got sensitive bowels, if you know what I mean) or worse: that her tastes would be spoiled. All my work! Not that we only eat organic foods or even all good foods--I love to bake and Mike's obsession with homemade ice cream is hard to reel in sometimes--but we eat a lot of vegetables and fruit and vegetarian meals and fishy meals--a nice balance I think. Madie eats two or three whole fruits a day. So last night while the other three were chowing down on saucy chicken and rice (with extra sauce poured on top), I was very happy to see that the first thing gone from Madie's plate was the broccoli. :)

~Despite all the craziness and extra kids, I've gotten a lot of reading done. In fact, I finished The Memory Keeper's Daughter. Oh so good!

Breakthrough:

~I realized what it was about some friends' houses that really turned me off as a kid: the smell. It's not the smell of poopy diapers or pee-soaked beds. It's the smell of microwaved corn dogs and maple syrup long after breakfast is over.

See If You Can Keep Up

I played basketball last night. The first time in two months; it felt good to get back on the court. The only problem is, when I get home around 10:30 or so, I'm to riled up to go directly to sleep. Last night I did stay in bed despite my wide-awakeness, but I spent at least 40 minutes laying on my side thinking over just one topic that has confused me for about a year now. The argument was held between my creative cooking self and my analytical self:

CC: A pint's a pound the world around.
AS: But a pint is two cups. Cup is volume. Pound is weight.
CC: I don't quite see your point.
AS: Well, there's just no way that two cups of feathers is the same weight as two cups of lead.
CC: Well, you don't cook with feathers and lead, do you? So that analogy is very poor.
AS: Look, there is just no way a pint is a pound for everything.
CC: And yet, it is.


The thing is, my AS can't compete with that. A pint really is two cups every single time! When a recipe says a pint of cream, I measure out the store-bought pint and it comes to two cups! When I read the label on a chocolate chip bag it says in one place: Nt. wgt. 1 lb. In another place it says: This bag is two cups. It's like magic! I DON'T GET IT!

You can see why I was up for an hour last night, just lying there arguing it out with myself.

So, Madie has started making elephant noises while she swings her arm in front of her face. It's adorable. Possibly even more adorable is listening to her read to you. I'm posting the video on FB. Don't you worry. In the mean time, let me entertain you with pictures of her new stuff:

Mike and I just couldn't take the pain of her biting our fingers on the nails while we brushed her teeth with a finger brush, so we finally bought Madie a real toothbrush. You can't see it, but it's the cutest little lion I've ever seen. Unfortunately, she loves to use it as a teether, so getting it away from her is kind of a hassle.

Since it looks like we will be staying here longer than we thought--which is already longer than we planned--we decided to set up a little more permanently. We moved the loaned card table and chairs over to the "dining area" of the apartment and put Madie's booster over there as well. It's great because now she can feed herself--her booster tray is just too small for her to do that with unless it's chopped up pieces of something. At the table she feeds herself eggs, bananas, sandwiches,  and yogurt. Mmmmmm-Mmmm!

Here's a quick story for you entitled Poor Little Feet! We got some great hand-me-down shoes from Tiff's girls over Thanksgiving--they were just perfect! They fit well and they had soft rubber soles so they were easy to walk in. Not to mention adorable, as always. We got compliments almost every time she wore them, which was a lot since they were really her only shoes. By the time we got home from Maine for Christmas they were already getting a little tight, but I figured we could use them for a couple more weeks while I looked around for some decent ones. I couldn't find any! Can you believe that?! I didn't know where Tiff had bought those shoes until someone said asked me what brand they were. I told her and she said, "Oh! Those are from Target!" Awesome! I never really shop at Target, but there's one not far away so I went and looked in their baby isle--nothing but slippers. Finally, on Monday this week (weeks after initially searching) I went to put Madie's socks on her and noticed a little pink blister on each pinkie toe. :( I tossed the shoes (they were also getting pretty worn after all the kids they'd been through) and took her straight to Target. It hit me right then: not the baby section! They're in the SHOE section! (It shows I'm in denial about the fact that she's growing when I don't even look anywhere but the baby section for shoes.) We found these babies.

She is loving them.

My Paradoxes Concerning The Future of English

I just finished reading Bill Bryson's The Mother Tongue: English And How It Got That Way. It was a fun read, even though I had to set it down for a while to finish some projects before the year's end. Bryson is very entertaining and the book shows a lot of research. Perhaps his most insightful chapter however is the very last: "The Future of English." He discusses the perceptions of English speakers on that topic--particularly Americans. He gives people's reasoning behind their thinking and finally ends with his own thoughts and reasoning.

I admit I have been one to voice the necessity for immigrants to learn English and how we should really just make it mandatory and how unfair it is that any other nation would not conceive of bending over backwards to accommodate an immigrant who doesn't learn the native language of that place, etc, etc. And at the same time I have often thought how cool it is we don't actually have a specified official language; how free that makes us! We bend and twist, because we can. We are able to change as necessary (theoretically).

I have also thought about how sad it makes me that English--particularly American English--seems to be taking over the world. Dialects are disappearing and British and American English are moving closer and closer toward one another. All too soon there won't be anyone who uses Mexican relish anymore; we'll all just use salsa. How piteous will be the world then! It is rare that the grandchild of immigrants from any culture to America are fluent in their ancestral language. My mother is the granddaughter of immigrants, and I have often felt a slight pang of resentfulness towards my ancestors for not speaking strictly in Lithuanian at home so I could know it now. It is a portion of my ancestry that is lost to me and not likely to be regained. I wouldn't wish that on anyone, which is exactly what regulating foreign languages in the United States would do. There are who groups of people who push for this very thing, arguing that it would decrease the differences between cultures. Bryson's counter-argument is sublime: "It is interesting to speculate also whether the member of U.S. English would be so enthusiastic about language regulations if they were transferred to Quebec and found their own language effectively outlawed." He also points out that the countries with the biggest problems between immigrants and the natives are those that strive to suppress qualities of the immigrating culture (240)--and it's easy to see that language is by far the most significant cultural quality.

See, I love English. That's what it really comes down to. I love all dialects of English, and the most correct, precise, academic forms as well. I love all types of English literature and the sound of it when it's read out loud. So to think that English might one day be disposed of frightens me just in the same way it does to think it would dispose of other languages. But after reading Bryson's book I realize that thinking English is going the way of Latin must be an irrational phobia. (In fact, I'm sure it is, and it kind of embarrasses me to think that it took reading a book for me to actually realize that fact. That's how obvious it is.) As Bryson says in his last two sentences, "If we should be worrying about anything to do with the future of English, it should be not that the various strands will drift apart but that they will grow indistinguishable. And what a sad, sad loss that would be" (245).

Declarations and Reviews

I know it's a little late, but I'm reviewing/declaring my new year's resolutions. I meant to run a review of my resolutions from last January before this year, but with going to Maine and all for Christmas, well, things just got muddled.

As for last years, let's have a look:
~I have learned some ballroom dance moves with Mike. We've looked some up online--waltz and Argentine tango (oh yes, my friends...). Mike even planned a date in November to take a beginning lesson at a local dance company where we learned a lot of basic moves. It was so fun!

~I have written some short stories, but never really finished them--lame, I know. They need some serious polishing and thinking over. I was all ready to send one in to the San Francisco Writers' Convention's  Indie Publishing Contest, but I procrastinated and realized when I got back from Maine I had let the due date pass.

~Cooking healthier...hmmmmmmm...this is kind of hard to tell. I've learned to be more creative in my cooking, and have even come up with recipes entirely on my own! (View them here.) But I don't know that I could call a pistachio cheesecake healthier per se. Let's just say, I've expanded my culinary horizon and I'm all the better for it.

I've thought a lot about my resolutions for this year. Some of them are modifications of last year's or are things I've thought a lot about doing in the past but never committed to.

~I'm kicking one of my worst habits: cracking my knuckles. (Cue applause from Karen and Grandma Clark.) FOR THE RECORD: I stand by my claims that cracking my knuckles does in fact make them feel better, not worse. It is not painful, and I don't find it horribly disgusting. However, I don't want to have Madie cracking hers by the time she's three, so I'm kicking the habit. Starting today.

~I'm going to write every day, even if it's just in this blog. No more of this letting-due-dates-slip-past thing. That really angered me, and yet it's entirely my fault. So, every day I'm writing something. I'm also looking currently for somewhere else to submit that short story and I'll be submitting at least one other piece somewhere else.

~I am going to read all the books on my 2011 To-Read List, which is open before me on my desktop. If I read more, great, but I'm at least going to read these. I was just saying on my cousin's blog that I'm tired of not getting to so many books I want to because I don't know what to read next. Not any more. (I'll post that list next time--maybe it'll be my writing for tomorrow!)

~Last, but not least (in fact, it'll probably--hopefully--be the first accomplished), I am going to get this blog background WORKING!!!!!!! UGH! This is driving me NUTS! I have looked at all sorts of html code and none of it is helping. It doesn't budge anything most of the time! **deep breathing** But I will have it looking the way I want it. I WILL!

Happy New Year!

Ferrets, Californians, and The Book of Mormon--Yes It Will All Tie In

I was reading in 3 Nephi 27 today and verse four really stuck out to me for just a moment. The Lord asks the disciples what they would ask of him and they wonder what they should call the church because there have been some disputes about it. Verse four says,

"And the Lord said unto them: Verily, verily, I say unto you, why is it that the people should murmur and dispute because of this thing?"

He then goes on to explain that the name should be His own because it is written in prior scripture that all things we do should be done in the name of Jesus Christ.

Not that verse four is particularly profound and although it's speaking of a specific example, when I read it this morning it struck me how it should be remembered in our own day. Often I see around the world--and in my own daily life, unfortunately--disputes over things that either have a simple and obvious answer or that are so pitifully unimportant it's childish to bring them up.

For example, there is apparently a long-running dispute among many people in California about whether or not ferrets should be legalized as pets in this state.

Really? At a time when people are losing jobs and homes, major gas pipes are exploding and burning down whole neighborhoods, and there is serious and sometimes violent social tension, some people want to spend money (which doesn't exist in this state either) to campaign for a smelly, rat-faced animal that would probably not wish to be someone's pet anyway? That baffles me.

Anyway, it made me realize that I should be way more relaxed about more things. Most of what I get worked up about probably is only a fraction of the importance I bestow upon it. Any thoughts, or am I alone here?

Traditional Me

So, because I'm frustrated with the newly-frustrated Madeleine, Mike and I have decided to start teaching the little one sign language. So far, although she does not sign back, she does seem to be a lot calmer when I sign to her that it's time to eat or ask her if she wants milk or something to drink. She watches my hands like a hawk at those times.

Other times, eh. She's just too busy while we play to be paying attention, but I sign anyway.

I'm actually surprised how quickly I've picked back up on it. I took a one-semester class of signing in my sophomore year of high school. Despite the length of time between then and now, and although I've only had the little sign book since yesterday, I have been able to sign lots of words to her. I guess I'm kind of a kinesthetic/visual learner. Which I already guessed, but always forget about it until I have to learn something.

Anyway, like I said, it seems like it's helping a lot already. Todays lunch and breakfast went much more smoothly than any of the past week and half. I know you're probably wondering, "Well, yeah. Why didn't you do this earlier?" You want to know the honest truth? A mixture of two things: 1. I didn't want to put out that tiny amount of effort it takes to do it, and 2. I see it as being just the tiniest bit hippy, which turns me off. What can I say? I'm a traditionalist, and most of the time, I'm proud of that. Maybe not in this particular case though.

I have never once believed it would inhibit her ability to speak. Would it delay her speech a little? Maybe. Maybe not. This book actually says 10% of children have a speech delay for one reason or another, and usually it just works itself out. One day, the kid starts talking. Whether or not that's accurate, I still know (as I've known for a long time) that teaching young children two or even three languages to begin with ends up doing nothing other than improving their cognition. The same goes for sign language.

Any thoughts out there?

Think on This

I thought this was a very interesting post by my cousin, Ave, addressing her own apprehensions about a possible explanation for why she feels the way she does about Obama. But even more important are the last two paragraphs which address how people in this country act towards the man in the white house--whoever it is.

I agree with Ave that we as a nation do a poor job of giving enough respect to whoever holds the position of president. I disagree with politics regularly--that's bound to happen. I've heard some pretty ridiculous ideas coming from the person in charge for years, and nothing is new now. I've also heard some good ones for years, even from people I didn't particularly like. But to paint the leader of our country as some kind of ignoramus or outright wicked being is a horrible thing to do. It is a position I doubt a quarter of the people in this country would be capable of, and so we are left with those who are at least willing to do it. That willingness to take on such an enormous task deserves our respect.

Movie Review

I don't know if any of you have had a chance to see this movie or read the book, but it was amazing! Personally, I thought that this movie was better than Da Vinci Code. I haven't read the books yet, so I can't make a call on that one. I would really like to read them, just to compare and get more to the story. According to recent press releases, Dan Brown is coming out with a new book called The Lost Symbol, which will feature the Freemasons. There are rumors that pieces from LDS church history will be intertwined into the story. While some LDS members may be bracing themselves for the ramifications of this new novel, I think it will be great publicity. Watching Angels and Demons made me so interested to learn about Catholic History/culture, I think that it would do the same for the church.  

There was a recent HBO showing that featured sacred temple ordinances, and I thought it was interesting to see the church's response. They kind of tossed the whole situation to the side, and didn't make a big deal of it at all. I think it's when we make a big deal that we are targeted and attacked by the media as we witnessed with Proposition 8. I say, let's embrace this new novel. I think it will be interesting. 

Conservatives, take a breath... it's really not the end of the world

I was not able to watch the inauguration this morning seeing as I was in class. However, I have been reading posts on it and an interesting article in our school newspaper. Get this: there's a kid here on campus that, after the outcome of Nov. 4th reached his ears, he logged onto Facebook and deleted friends who had status' supporting Barack Obama, and said in an interview with the paper that he "does not regret it." Please. If your friendships are based on things as constantly shifting as politics, your "friends" are probably relieved you deleted them!

It is important to remember that it is not the president who makes laws. The president really only has as much power as we give him. It is Congress we have to keep and eye on and appeal to. It is Congress that drafts, redrafts, and votes on our laws. Of course, we focus on the president because it's much easier (and usually more interesting) to adore/blame/generally obsess over one polititian than it is a whole flock of them.

Try also to remember that we have not, as a country, sold our soul to the devil, nor have we set ourselves up to become the Great Abomination. A country based on democracy is only as good as it's people. Although I did not vote for Obama, I think he will make as good a president as any other candidate, if not better. It's past the time of campaigning for our favorites. Now is the time to come together to support our country and try not to let the man leading it get killed.

Obama and the Partial-Birth Abortion

Okay, so I took the advice of one of Calandria's readers and researched Obama's vote on the Partial-Birth Abortion issue.

**The description is taken from a reliable source, but it is also graphic. If you get queasy easily, you may want to stop reading here.

According to HealthAtoZ.com, the procedure for partial-birth abortion, also called intact dilation and extraction, is as follows:
- The body is given a series of medications to force the cervix to dilate, usually over a matter of days.
- The fetus is rotated to a footling breech position.
- The fetus is drawn out of the body until only the head remains inside the birth canal.
- Using an instrument, the physician punctures the base of the fetus' skull, causing the head to collapse.
- Often, the contents of the fetus' head are suctioned out, causing the head to reduce enough for the dead fetus to be pulled out of the birth canal completely.

The Partial-Birth Abortion Ban Act was a movement to, as it says, ban this practice. It was passed in Congress in 2003. The law says that "Any physician who, in or affecting interstate or foreign commerce, knowingly performs a partial-birth abortion and thereby kills a human fetus shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than 2 years, or both" (Wikipedia.com).

Senator Obama, while still in the Illinois Legistlature voted "Present" on this Act in 1997. In the IL Legislature, a vote of "present" is equivalent to a vote of "no" because there is a required majority of "yes" votes to pass a bill. Congressmen use a vote of "present" usually to avoid a vote of "no" on an unpopular bill. This means he was against banning partial-birth abortion. In my opinion, although it is not worded the same as voting for the practice of partial-birth abortion, he is in every essence seeking the same result.

To read the blog entry and comments that inspired this entry, go here. To read more of the article in HealthAtoZ.com about partial-birth abortions go here. To read the Wikipedia entry on the Partial-Birth Abortion Ban Act of 2003 go here. To read the Act itself, go here. To read more on Barack Obama's opinions on abortion, go here. To view Senator Obama's voting record in his current office, go here. These links are the exact sources I used in writing this entry.

Although I included my own opinion, it certainly doesn't mean I am not open to the views of others. So, any thoughts?

During the Test

In my Exceptional Students 6-12 class on Tuesday, we were studying ADHD and Learning Disorders. At one point during his PowerPoint, Bro. K. popped this picture up:
After letting the shock of what middle pictures sink in, he asked, "Would you ever want to put your kid through that?" We all asked what the "test" was that the kids were put through. He said they were first-graders on a 20 oz Coke. Some of us were a little surprised, others were shocked. I knew sodas, especially caffeinated ones, weren't good for anyone, especially smaller frames, but I had no idea they would have this drastic of an effect on a child's brain.