Outrageousness

It's been a while since I've posted any of the incredible things said in this house, so I thought I'd share a few today:

Me:
"Finn, I'm wicked tired. I'm going to lie down and rest for a little bit. You can sit on me, just don't jump too hard."

Me:
"Why would the wisemen give a baby boy a perfume they put on people who died?"
Madie:
"I'm not sure, but I think maybe because little boys are stinky when they come out of their mommas."

Madie:
"We need Jesus because without him you can get all washed-up."

Me:
"Please don't kiss [the dog] on the bum."

Me:
"Please don't share your drink with [the dog]."

Me:
"What's the number one rule about helping Mumma in the kitchen?"
Finn:
"Don't pick your nose."
(Which, by the way, makes sense, so 'Only Do What Mumma Says When She Says' is now #2.)